Saturday, 23 November 2013


Sometimes I feel it is a shame to live and hold yourself to so many restrictions, to put your needs on the back-burner just because of your parents or your relationship. I think it's hit me a lot harder recently because I've felt stuck in a rut with uni and the routine I get stuck into. It got to a point where I saw other people chasing their dreams, being proactive, getting out there and I started to question what was holding me back? Essentially, nothing should be if you don't let it. All throughout our lives we succumb to these self-imposed restrictions, and by doing so we are denying ourselves the freedom of expression that we are so privileged to even have.

Reading about people's biggest life regrets before they die, and the fact that so many people regretted not being true to themselves is disheartening. If there are people out there who have lived their whole lives probably hoping to bide their time and eventually get to 'be themselves' yet the time passes and they are still unable to live to true to who they are, it just proves that: that day doesn't come, unless we put our foot down and say 'I will start living true to my own self right now'. I never want to be old, and look back on my youth and have nothing to hold onto. I don't want to be that person who wasted their youth working their asses off, or just climbing the corporate ladder - because, why? Yes, stability is comforting but we have 50 years ahead of us to become 'stable'. It's a see-saw really: sometimes I crave that stability, but sometimes I look beyond that and crave for a deeper meaning. I've recently seen a TEDTalk where one line really resonated with me: we spend so much effort to attain that stability, but once we get it, it becomes boring.

I don't know if this will come across as bitter, but honestly, sometimes I look around and I see people who put themselves second to others; they deny themselves the opportunity to chase after what they want because they are either too afraid to take that first step or they are in relationships where their identity is merged with their significant others or they don't feel like they are able to do what they want while they are in a relationship. To me, if you are in a relationship and that is what's holding you back then that may not be an ideal relationship. Don't settle for someone who allows you to be stagnant, don't settle for someone who holds you back to keep you beside them, don't settle for someone who you cannot imagine conquering new heights with - because that's what couples have to do. As a couple, you're expected to grow together through so many milestones - marriage, parenthood, old age; that if you feel unsure or doubtful then that's something you need to fix or learn to walk away from.  Be with someone who inspires you, who makes you want to better yourself, someone who challenges you and enables you to grow.

Thursday, 21 November 2013


Just random phone-snaps from my visit to the GOMA museum. Quality is probably sub-par but that's what happens when I become too lazy to lug around my DSLR in order to 'pack light'. I kind of have a love-hate relationship with museums and art galleries - I like it, but I do get bored easily. So it's nice to have a camera or even phone so it challenges me to find interesting ways to take photos so I'm not just *glances at stuff* *walks away* *falls asleep on lounges*

Sunday, 17 November 2013


The obligatory 'out of plane window' shot, because window-seat appreciation!

There were heaps of these 'rental bikes' in Brisbane; which we don't have here in Sydney. Sad to say, I never got to ride one though because there was some registration thing and I never got that much time in Brisbane. 

A pretty tunnel ... it was really pretty hehe 

The Ferris Wheel...

Totally not a creeper shot... 

Funky street installation - it's a 'shell' that you can 'crawl' in from one side and get out the other way!

Bridge bridge bridge bridge! 

The man-made beach at South Bank which we frequented at night 

So these photos are from ... July earlier this year. Apart from the fact that I'm a horrible blogger that never posts unless my blog is covered with virtual cobwebs... there's not much to say. Just to recap, Brisbane was pretty lovely - it was very relaxing and laid-back. If I had to compare it to Sydney, it was less busy and people seemed friendlier. But by the end of the trip, I did miss Sydney. The great thing about Brisbane is that everything seemed to be in walking distance... which means lots of walking. I got to see the city centre, the GOMA museum, South Bank and Surfers Paradise (no pics because it was a brief day trip). I was in QLD for an AIESEC National Conference, where delegates (members) from across the nation attended and participated in sessions, had fun and got to meet everyone else. Essentially, that means I was off on a university campus for a week, and only really got to explore Brisbane CBD in the first few days (which was sufficient - the CBD wasn't drastically different from Sydney)/ Initially, me and Shirisha were going to go to Wet n Wild but it didn't really work out so spontaneous planning left us only one day to trek up to Surfers' Paradise for some beach-lovin' fun. It kind of took a while to get there, and being QLD noobs we managed to get overcharged on public transport (for not tapping off). Once we got there though, it was really nice - we went jet-boatting which I really, really loved. The feeling of just going really fast, with water splashing on us, and not really having to worry about anything: it was the perfect balance of adrenaline rush and 'safety' for me (activity-wise). That said, I kind of wished for more excitement with the looping and turns. However, the experience has officially put jet-skiing on my bucket list. Sooo... one day! After jet-boatting, we went off to the shops and grabbed some food so we can eat and chill on the beach (I had some pastries and ice cream haha). When we got to the beach, we had food and just talked about the whole conference, what we learnt and Shirisha's exchange - I feel like the conversation was really insightful in that it helped my tie together the experience and made me look forward to the rest of the year a bit more, so I was thankful for that.

Anyways, the major major major major thing that has happened is that I AM GOING TO EUROPE. Yes yes yes yes! I am going to the land of snow, fancy cafes, amazing museums and unknown adventures. I've got my flights booked, my travel insurance paid and (don't laugh) I've even started a travel diary to document my time. Why a separate blog? Hmmm... I like to categorise things and to make sure I have a space for different 'states of minds' and purposes. I DERNO. I might end up cross-posting stuff, but I think the travel diary is more the 'open to public' version, whereas posts here will probably have a more personal element. Seriously, I will be flying in a week's time! But first, need to cross off my Legal Theory essay or else I fail. Boohoo.

Wednesday, 7 August 2013


Credit: tumblr

It’s amazing to think back of my childhood, and the memories just come flooding in. It’s strange the things that used to mean so much to me. I remember how we used to go to yum cha every weekend as a family and eat all this food and get the balloons they always gave us and it would literally be the highlight of my day - it was like the biggest perk, those helium balloons. I can’t help but smile at the memories. We used to tie the balloons to our wrists and protect it when we walked around Cab to grocery shop, so sometimes we should shift it to one another to get out of having to be super careful when walking, because it’d hit other people or we were scared of it flying away (it always sucked when they flew away). Then once we got into the car, we’d have to hold it between our legs so it wouldn’t obscure the view of Dad driving. And once we got home we’d get so excited to release it and have it hit the ceiling… and then we’d leave it on top of the white cupboard we used to have; and once it got deflated, we’d throw it out. And repeat for the next week. I don’t know why we loved balloons so much but we just did. It’s just like how we treasured those gumball machines so much (and back then, the gold coin ones were super expensive to me) and also those little car and machines that used to be in front of the stores in Cab. 
I miss my childhood sometimes. 

Wednesday, 24 July 2013


Here we go... Come with me ... Take my hand ... Close your eyes ... Let's fly away

The grammar nazi in me wished there was an apostrophe. But screw that, I'm not perfect either. (credit: tumblr)

It's hard to say I'm an ambitious person, because at the very core, I'm not. I'm a dreamer. I have all these little ideas in my head, these little mental photographs that I wish were true... I have dreams, not ambitions. I don't actively pursue them, because that's not who I am. I cherish the ideas and how they make me feel. I cling to the tiny happiness that the thoughts bring me because I know that we have to be careful what we wish for, because often reality tarnishes the beauty of dreams. This may be foolish and silly, but it's who I am.

Call me practical, or call me selfish (or be nice and call me family oriented) but my goal in life is simply to be happy and eventually have my own home with a loving family. I don't have these humanitarian goals for the greater good or an overarching desire to change the world. Maybe I haven't met that side of me yet, or maybe that side of me is just... not really there. I'm a simple person and in many ways, I'm easily satisfied. I'm someone who pays more attention to the little things than grand gestures. I am proud of myself that of all the resolutions I'd made, the one that I've kept was to donate my spare change whenever I see a charity donation box. Yes, it's a small gesture but it's that release for me - knowing that my spare change can contribute to something greater, knowing that deep inside I can comfortably and happily part with my own money for someone else.. and wanting to.

However, there are times I have these creative bouts and I have these visions and ideas that I wish I could just be manifest to life. I wish to bring these ideas to life, yet it's hard. I love design and creativity and innovation and I love being surrounded by it. It inspires me and it leaves me awestruck. Yet, I feel so limited by my capabilities. I want to hone my skills. I want to bring these ideas to life. I want to be better at what inspires me, so one day, someone may feel the same way about my work. I really want to feel like I'm actually good at something, instead of just dabbling in these hobbies and not committing myself to it. Unfortunately, it seems my ultimate downfall has always revolved around my commitment phobia. But who says that can't change? Regardless of the outcome, I want to at least try.

Monday, 22 July 2013


Way overexposed, but I love that shade of green mixed and beige. 

As you can probably see, the flowers weren't that great. They were kind of withering. Oh welps. 

Personally, I adore capturing little moments like this. But I usually feel too shy to be snapping photos of random people.

I tried really hard to try and capture how the landscape peeked through the window like an artwork ... but there was always someone there. Sigh. 

Still not quite right :(

It's been forever since I went on the Canberra road trip. It was an amazing time, though there was the foreignness of not really knowing everyone really well. I know I'm not the greatest, nor most passionate photography but I do enjoy taking photos and I love looking back at them. It's honestly a shame to say I don't always take photos consistently and that makes me sad sometimes yet I'm also glad that I can just enjoy and revel in that moment without feeling obliged to capture the memories. I love having that private, secretive moment to commit to my memory without feeling pressured to take a photo. Another part of me feels slightly annoyed at myself and my reluctance to whip out my DSLR in awkward/public situations. I really need to get over that.

For some reason, the photos I take and the type of photos I'm drawn to are rather different. Maybe that is a sign that I should be more adventurous with my photography and take more photos that I can be drawn to. I've come to realise I really like to photograph different lines and symmetry in my photos.

PS: Any comment/criticism welcome. I honestly would love to improve my photography.


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