Sometimes I feel it is a shame to live and hold yourself to so many restrictions, to put your needs on the back-burner just because of your parents or your relationship. I think it's hit me a lot harder recently because I've felt stuck in a rut with uni and the routine I get stuck into. It got to a point where I saw other people chasing their dreams, being proactive, getting out there and I started to question what was holding me back? Essentially, nothing should be if you don't let it. All throughout our lives we succumb to these self-imposed restrictions, and by doing so we are denying ourselves the freedom of expression that we are so privileged to even have.
Reading about people's biggest life regrets before they die, and the fact that so many people regretted not being true to themselves is disheartening. If there are people out there who have lived their whole lives probably hoping to bide their time and eventually get to 'be themselves' yet the time passes and they are still unable to live to true to who they are, it just proves that: that day doesn't come, unless we put our foot down and say 'I will start living true to my own self right now'. I never want to be old, and look back on my youth and have nothing to hold onto. I don't want to be that person who wasted their youth working their asses off, or just climbing the corporate ladder - because, why? Yes, stability is comforting but we have 50 years ahead of us to become 'stable'. It's a see-saw really: sometimes I crave that stability, but sometimes I look beyond that and crave for a deeper meaning. I've recently seen a TEDTalk where one line really resonated with me: we spend so much effort to attain that stability, but once we get it, it becomes boring.
I don't know if this will come across as bitter, but honestly, sometimes I look around and I see people who put themselves second to others; they deny themselves the opportunity to chase after what they want because they are either too afraid to take that first step or they are in relationships where their identity is merged with their significant others or they don't feel like they are able to do what they want while they are in a relationship. To me, if you are in a relationship and that is what's holding you back then that may not be an ideal relationship. Don't settle for someone who allows you to be stagnant, don't settle for someone who holds you back to keep you beside them, don't settle for someone who you cannot imagine conquering new heights with - because that's what couples have to do. As a couple, you're expected to grow together through so many milestones - marriage, parenthood, old age; that if you feel unsure or doubtful then that's something you need to fix or learn to walk away from. Be with someone who inspires you, who makes you want to better yourself, someone who challenges you and enables you to grow.