Friday, 3 May 2013


First off, uni seems to be a persistent bitch. In every goddamn facet. Cannot escape it for the life of me. Firstly, the workload is killing me, then assessments have poured in, and enrolment for next semester is doing my head in. Why? Because my uni website is too shoddy to handle the traffic that comes with enrolment (massive fail) and I literally spent 20 minutes even trying to get on, argh. FRUSTRATION. Then, I missed out on my planned timetable - which in retrospect, does work out. However, they've opened up more classes for the core courses and the times are so damn inconvenient. On top of that, I heard one of my subjects is massively hard. Great. Just great. The only flipside to everything? I'm trying my best to stay positive and go with the flow and just let things be because who knows? It might all work out, just like how I'm coming to terms with my 4 day timetable - 11am starts = sleep in time, not having to sleep early ... or y'know sleeping at 2am and getting only 4.5 hours every night, where the highlight of my day is literally the extra sleep time on the train. Yeah, that is definitely not a healthy or balanced schedule. So, I'm really starting to look forward to that aspect of next semester (getting way too ahead of myself, and totally ignoring the fact that I have to conquer exams before I get a break, and before a new semester resumes). Anyways, I am intrigued by the subject that everyone seems to hate, but who knows, maybe I'll like it enough to be good at it? Haha, trying to stay positive (and even though there is a looming cloud above my head, I know staying positive beats being a miserable whine by miles!) since I sat in a workshop about positive psychology and it was quite interesting... which reminds me, I totally need to fill out a survey and find out my strengths so I can hone and maximise them :)

Apart from all the bullshiz that is uni life, I've gotten to know quite a lot of people over this year which has been quite surprising since I do like to and tend to keep to myself quite a bit. I'm not so sure I'm making any best friends or friends for life (honestly, because they're not really in my age group and I don't see them super-often) but I do know that we're all friends and I can hold conversations with them for prolonged times, which is a great start for me. The thing about me is that I don't really feel comfortable or enjoy letting people in too much - I kind of prefer not to. I don't like putting myself out there too much and whilst I am somewhat extroverted and talkative, there are things I like to keep private. Maybe I'm a narcissist but I think I need to ascertain that someone has earned that close friend status before I can lay my feelings on the table. If not, meh.

On a side note, I wish a certain someone would lay off and not make the moves on me. It is starting to seriously annoy the hell out of me and it's affecting our friendship. I'm definitely not an 'easy' person to like because I'm honestly mean and I get lost in my own feelings of annoyance, rather than trying to empathise that the person probably has more to lose and feelings may be hurt. It's just... I hate rejecting people so I bottle it up and it gets to me to. It's just argh. I also spoke to one of my high school friends about this recently, because I've missed talking to her, and now I feel kind of distant but I don't know. We need to reconnect somehow.

Also, I've been using my camera again since last time because of the filming project we have to do for one of my courses as well as joining the photography club so hopefully I get into it again because I'm seriously getting bored of this mundane lifestyle.

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