MIRRORS

Playlist: Poppity Pop 


I've finished all my exams! *victory dance* Seriously, I feel so relieved and at ease at the moment. However, I'm pretty sure I bombed out on my exams. So I'm genuinely unhappy about that and disappointed with myself. I can't really do much about it now but hopefully I remember this feeling for the upcoming semester so I can stay motivated and work my butt off.

As usual, I have so many goals and aspirations but I'm always holding back because of some lame excuse I make for myself. But no more. I'm slightly proud of myself and taking baby steps into achieving my goals. First, I booked my own flights and wrote my first cheque recently! I know, not something to really celebrate, but baby steps haha. Also, I've been purchasing items I've had my eyes on. Okay, it is a tiny bit far-fetched to consider retail therapy as achieving a goal. But.. I've been pining after the Fuji Instax for literally years. Since high school, to put it into perspective. So, I'm kind of excited that I finally took the plunge and committed to buying it... with a cute pink leather case ;) Cannot wait to get my tiny hands on that beauty. Also, I bought some cosmetic products I wanted to experiment with. I've always skirted around with the idea of starting to use make up but never really did. But now that my dark circles have reached the point of atrociousness, I kind of have to use make up for fear of looking like a zombie and being a human repellent. Anyways, I'm only going to use some under eye concealer if I can get the hang of it... I am hopeless at all this make up stuff, sigh. Anyways, with the upcoming mini-break and my lovely 11am starts next semester, I can get back into wearing my contacts! I've missed those babies <3 I prefer the look of contacts, but this semester, I needed my naps on the train because of my overkill timetable.

I know I say this every time but I'm really looking forward to having a better balance next semester. I'm planning to pick up taekwondo because I've wanted to since ... early high school days. So I'm finally going to get with it because otherwise I'll never learn. I'm also thinking of playing squash at uni because I've always liked squash but don't play. I'm also planning to start gymming and getting fitter because I'm becoming increasingly frustrated with my body and certain problem areas so I'm going to have to start getting into shape because I won't be able to when I'm overseas. Which brings me to the big badass news. I am going on exchange with AIESEC. Holy crapolaaaaaaa. Biggest step out of my comfort zone ever. I'm so friggin excited though because that means I'll be overseas at the end of the year during summer break and get this - I'll be in Europe; after the exchange program I'll probably end up travelling AND am planning to spend my 21st overseas. How goddamn awesome would that be? I can't even believe all this is happening!!!

PEOPLE, MORE PEOPLE AND UNI

First off, uni seems to be a persistent bitch. In every goddamn facet. Cannot escape it for the life of me. Firstly, the workload is killing me, then assessments have poured in, and enrolment for next semester is doing my head in. Why? Because my uni website is too shoddy to handle the traffic that comes with enrolment (massive fail) and I literally spent 20 minutes even trying to get on, argh. FRUSTRATION. Then, I missed out on my planned timetable - which in retrospect, does work out. However, they've opened up more classes for the core courses and the times are so damn inconvenient. On top of that, I heard one of my subjects is massively hard. Great. Just great. The only flipside to everything? I'm trying my best to stay positive and go with the flow and just let things be because who knows? It might all work out, just like how I'm coming to terms with my 4 day timetable - 11am starts = sleep in time, not having to sleep early ... or y'know sleeping at 2am and getting only 4.5 hours every night, where the highlight of my day is literally the extra sleep time on the train. Yeah, that is definitely not a healthy or balanced schedule. So, I'm really starting to look forward to that aspect of next semester (getting way too ahead of myself, and totally ignoring the fact that I have to conquer exams before I get a break, and before a new semester resumes). Anyways, I am intrigued by the subject that everyone seems to hate, but who knows, maybe I'll like it enough to be good at it? Haha, trying to stay positive (and even though there is a looming cloud above my head, I know staying positive beats being a miserable whine by miles!) since I sat in a workshop about positive psychology and it was quite interesting... which reminds me, I totally need to fill out a survey and find out my strengths so I can hone and maximise them :)

Apart from all the bullshiz that is uni life, I've gotten to know quite a lot of people over this year which has been quite surprising since I do like to and tend to keep to myself quite a bit. I'm not so sure I'm making any best friends or friends for life (honestly, because they're not really in my age group and I don't see them super-often) but I do know that we're all friends and I can hold conversations with them for prolonged times, which is a great start for me. The thing about me is that I don't really feel comfortable or enjoy letting people in too much - I kind of prefer not to. I don't like putting myself out there too much and whilst I am somewhat extroverted and talkative, there are things I like to keep private. Maybe I'm a narcissist but I think I need to ascertain that someone has earned that close friend status before I can lay my feelings on the table. If not, meh.

On a side note, I wish a certain someone would lay off and not make the moves on me. It is starting to seriously annoy the hell out of me and it's affecting our friendship. I'm definitely not an 'easy' person to like because I'm honestly mean and I get lost in my own feelings of annoyance, rather than trying to empathise that the person probably has more to lose and feelings may be hurt. It's just... I hate rejecting people so I bottle it up and it gets to me to. It's just argh. I also spoke to one of my high school friends about this recently, because I've missed talking to her, and now I feel kind of distant but I don't know. We need to reconnect somehow.

Also, I've been using my camera again since last time because of the filming project we have to do for one of my courses as well as joining the photography club so hopefully I get into it again because I'm seriously getting bored of this mundane lifestyle.

RECAP

So much has happened since I last blogged, hence I haven't really had the time or drive to blog. I'm back at uni again, and despite procrastinating like crazy, I'm drained. It's always the transportation that really tires me out though, as it takes me (optimistically) 2 hours each way - aka, 4 hours there and back, and that's if there are no waits... but there's always waiting involved. Which means two things: 1) I probably spend more time on public transport than I have quality time spending with my own family and 2) I spend a lot of time on  the train eating or sleeping, listening to music, playing games or staring into space and daydreaming - none of which are very productive either. That's one of the reasons why I've seriously been considering moving out, and even my mum (who I thought would be the main person opposing me moving out) suggested it. I mean, wow. The main problem with that would be the whole employment and stability thing. I don't know. I'm not sure I can take the leap yet.

Also, my brother recently graduated and I'm so happy for him. It's always a massive stepping stone... yet no one really knew what to do. Sigh, facepalm. I was left to run around on the day to find a graduation bear and a bouquet of flowers and had to run to his university in order to make it on time for his graduation ceremony. There, I had to be the photographer and amateur videographer. By the end of the day, on the train trip back home, I had a mini heart attack when I thought I deleted the video of my brother getting his graduation certificate. THANK HEAVENS I DIDN'T.

Another major event so far this year, both personally and socially, is that I've joined AIESEC. It's a global youth run organisation with the goal of developing leaders through facilitating exchange programs. And the people I've met and have been working with thus far, have been fabulous. Everyone has been really friendly, welcoming and open to talking and sharing. It's great, and I don't think I've ever really made friends that fast. I'm really stoked. It's also evoked that everpresent craving in me to go travel, on AIESEC exchange. I so want to do it, and I want to do it soon. But it's probably better to wait till summer, because I can save a bit more money and I'll enjoy the experience more since I waited so long for it; and I can stay behind a lot longer if I wanted to and travel around Asia. GAHHHH, MY FEELS. And I will have time to hunt Vic down.

I'm also hoping to find a balance in life. I mean, I don't know. Life is inevitably hard. And I'm still struggling with it. But there's so much I want to do and I need to be more proactive with life, if not, am I really living? This year, I want to achieve a lot of things. I want it be a year that is worthwhile and a year that will shape who I am. Last year was a calm year, and it was still such a happy time. This year, I want to balance everything I desire - I want to read, watch shows (ha! how mundane), spend time with my family, work, study, volunteer, travel, exercise, explore and document everything. I mean, it doesn't sound like much, but boy is it hard to fit into a schedule.

SNAPSHOTS: LITTLE THINGS

My studs.. prior to re-organisation that is.

Beaded necklace... such pretty colours.

Bought this ceramic bowl to store some studs because I keep losing them. The bowl's edge reminds me of little flower petals. On that note, I should stop buying more earrings, because it's like I can't stop. It kills my wallet. 

So I bought a necklace instead.... Yeah, not doing any better. It's so pretty and I love the mix of colours - pastels and gold look quite pretty together. 

SNAPSHOTS: TEAL

Teal shimmer polish... I love this colour, it's so .. mermaidy.

Tada! It's so prettyyyyyyyy~ 

So I told myself to NOT buy any more new polishes because I have way too many. That said, there are still some shades I don't have yet... like this beautiful teal colour. Soooo... when I was out roaming, I picked up this gem... for only $3. I know! For nails, I believe it's all about finding the perfect shade > the expensive brands. I do like some expensive brands, but oft-times they are way overpriced, so unless I love the colour, I can't justify spending more than x5 the amount of a cheaper polish on it.

SNAPSHOTS: LOVE

My cutie baby looking all pensive, hehe.

One of my three cutie babies. So adorbs, resting behind my laptop.

SNAPSHOTS: DECOR

My cute little piggy. Basically empty though... 

Home is wherever I'm with you...

I have a bunch of piggy banks... disproportionate to the amount of money I've saved. Who am I kidding, I barely save. All the coins I stash away go towards my bus fare anyway. The frame is so beautiful AND it came free with a magazine - totally killed two birds with one stone. I wanted a frame for some family snaps, but I loved the art it came with anyways so I've yet to change it.